I’ve been jobless for over two months now.

Two months. That amount of time can really make a person start to feel worthless, and more than just a little lost. I don’t know what to do with myself half the time anymore. I feel stuck.

I’ve put in hundreds of applications, gone to countless interviews. So far it’s all a bust. I was so desperate I reapplied for my old job-where the new manager has made it clear he has no interest in hiring me. I’ve left interviews grinning, with full assurance that I will be getting a follow-up call soon and that the manager thinks I am “just perfect for it.” I’ve then waited weeks and gotten no response.

In October I started helping someone open a coffee shop in their bookstore. Three weeks and 100+ hours later I found they had no intention of paying me. I was successfully hired by a frame shop-who suddenly had no business and did not need me to come in.

I’ve been jerked around and screwed over and passed by, and every time I pick myself up, dust off and start over.

Today I went in for an interview with a local screen-printing company. The atmosphere was amazing, the employees were great and it is a job that would actually get me back doing the kind of work I spent 4 years studying to do. In short, it’s a dream job.

I think things really went well-but that often means they didn’t. On the other hand, I am hands-shaking, butterfly stomach, toe-tapping nervous. I’ve always found that to be a surprisingly good sign. I’m hoping this time it is the perfect sign and that I will find myself with a great opportunity.

I guess what I’m saying is all you tumblerites and friends out there, wish me luck. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I really, really need it right now.